c/date-night-disasters

The time a date's pet ferret became the third wheel at a fancy Italian spot

Met this guy at Bella Notte downtown, and he showed up with a small travel bag. He said it was for his 'emotional support animal', which turned out to be a live ferret named Frank. Halfway through the appetizers, Frank escaped and ran across three other tables, knocking over a $75 bottle of wine. The manager asked us to leave, and my date spent twenty minutes trying to coax Frank out from under the dessert cart. Anyone else had a date bring a truly unexpected plus-one?

The choice between a fancy steakhouse and a taco truck that backfired

I had to pick between a nice sit down place, The Gilded Bull, and this amazing looking taco truck by the river. I went with the steakhouse to be impressive, but my date spent the whole time complaining about the $45 price for the chicken dish and the slow service. It was a two hour dinner of pure awkward silence. Anyone else have a 'safe' choice blow up in their face like that?

My date in Phoenix started with a flat tire and ended with a food allergy

I met this guy named Derek at a coffee shop and we planned a nice dinner downtown. He picked me up, but his car got a flat tire on the 7th Street bridge. We changed it together, got all sweaty, and were an hour late. Then at the restaurant, he forgot to tell the server about his shellfish allergy and had to use his EpiPen after one bite of my shrimp appetizer. Has anyone else had a date where everything just fell apart one thing after another?

My date at the aquarium ended with a fish tank filter and a very wet shoe

Last month, I met a guy for a first date at the city aquarium. It was going fine, a bit quiet, until we got to the big kelp forest tank. He leaned in to point out an eel, lost his balance, and grabbed the edge of the tank's filtration unit for support. A plastic panel popped off and a jet of water shot out, hitting me square in the foot. My left canvas shoe was soaked through in about two seconds. We stood there for a full minute while an employee ran over to shut it off. He just kept saying 'I'm so sorry' while I squelched back to the lobby. I had to drive home with a plastic bag on my foot. Has anyone else had a date go wrong because of, well, infrastructure?

My attempt at a fancy picnic date in Griffith Park went totally sideways

I brought a whole charcuterie board and a bottle of wine, but a rogue squirrel stole an entire wedge of brie right off the blanket while we were talking. Anyone else have a date completely hijacked by wildlife?

Vent: People keep forgetting that a date is a conversation, not a job interview.

I mean, I went out with a guy last month who had a list of 20 'compatibility questions' on his phone. It felt like I was applying for a position, not getting to know someone. Has anyone else had a date turn into a weird Q&A session?

Spent $75 on a 'romantic' picnic setup for a first date, and a squirrel stole the entire cheese plate.

My date went from a nice dinner to a full blown lecture on ductwork

We met for tacos last Friday, and the first hour was fine. Then he asked what I did for a living, and I said I was an HVAC tech. For the next forty five minutes, he gave me an unsolicited, detailed breakdown of why my entire industry's approach to residential duct sizing is fundamentally flawed, complete with napkin diagrams. The check sat there untouched the whole time. Is it fair to turn a simple date into a free consulting session, or was he just passionately nerding out?

My friend swore by the 'three drink rule' for first dates and it went so wrong

He said having three drinks would make me more relaxed and fun, but I just got sleepy and spilled a whole glass of red wine on my date's white shirt at the Italian place. Has anyone else had a piece of advice totally backfire like that?

Just realized my date's 'quick drink' was a test I failed for 45 minutes

He kept asking weird riddles about his job in logistics, and I didn't get he wanted me to guess his salary. Anyone else had a date turn into a weird interview?

Just realized I've been on 50 first dates in the past three years. When did dating become a numbers game?

Rant: I was sure my date's 'emergency' was a lie, but then his mom called from the hospital.

He'd already bailed twice, so when he texted 'family emergency' from the restaurant bathroom, I rolled my eyes and was ready to leave until his phone, which he'd left on the table, lit up with a call from 'Mom' at St. Mary's.

My date's personality did a full 180 after the check came

Met a guy from an app for drinks at a spot in the West End. For two hours, he was funny, asked good questions, seemed really into it. The second the server dropped the bill, his whole vibe changed. He got quiet, looked at his phone, then said 'So, we splitting this, right?' in a flat voice. I said sure, no problem, but he started adding up each of our drinks and the shared appetizer to the cent. The guy who was joking around before was gone, replaced by someone doing mental math with a frown. It was like a switch flipped. The walk to our cars was super quiet. Has anyone else had a date seem great until money got involved?

Overheard a couple at the next table debating who should pay, and it made me think

He said 'real men always cover the bill,' which is such an OLD idea. My takeaway is that insisting on paying can actually be MORE awkward, like when my date last spring got visibly upset I offered to split it. Does anyone else think the 'who pays' rule needs an update?

Remember when a bad date just meant awkward silence?

Back in 2018, my worst date was just a guy in a Portland diner who only talked about his fantasy football league for two hours. Last week, my date spent the entire dinner at a sushi place showing me his crypto portfolio on his phone, asking for my opinion on his 'investments'. The whole vibe shifted from boring to a sales pitch. Has anyone else had a date turn into an unsolicited financial advice session?

My date in Portland last fall spent the whole time talking about his ex's cat

We were at a pizza place and he told me the cat's full medical history, including a $2,000 surgery. It was so awkward I just stared at my slice. Anyone else have a date get stuck on one weird topic?

My date's dog ate my car keys in a park in Sacramento

This was about a month ago. We met for a walk around McKinley Park, and he brought his big, friendly golden retriever. Everything was fine until I set my keys down on a bench to tie my shoe. The dog just snatched them up like a toy. I spent twenty minutes trying to get him to drop them while my date just kept saying, 'He's never done that before.' The keys were covered in slobber and one of the fob buttons was totally chewed off. We had to call his roommate to bring the spare key, and I drove home with the windows down because my car smelled like wet dog. Anyone else have a date completely derailed by a pet?

My date in Austin last month brought his mom to the restaurant

She sat at the next table and kept giving me advice on how to order my steak. Has anyone else had a date's family show up unannounced?

PSA: My date at The Rusty Anchor last Friday went from fine to a total trainwreck in under an hour.

We were having a decent conversation over drinks, then he got a call from his ex, Jessica. He proceeded to argue with her on speakerphone for 15 minutes at our table about who kept the dog's favorite toy. The vibe was completely dead after that. Anyone else had a date derailed by an ex popping up?

A date in Nashville ended with him asking for gas money

Honestly, we met for drinks downtown last month and he spent the whole time complaining about his ex. Ngl, when the check came, he looked me dead in the eye and asked if I could 'spot him' for the Uber home because his card was 'acting up'. Has anyone else had a date try to turn you into their personal ATM?

My date brought his mom to a dinner in Cleveland and I had to choose between being polite or leaving.

I picked staying for the whole awkward meal, which included him ordering for me and his mom asking about my 'plans for grandchildren', so what would you have done: fake a sudden illness or just get up and walk out?

Vent: My date stormed off when I had a friend tag along

I was so anxious about meeting someone new that I asked my friend to sit nearby. In my view, this helps keep things calm, but my date called it a deal-breaker and ended things. Is it really that wrong to have a friend close by on a first date?

Hot take: I don't think family dinners on dates are a total dealbreaker

I went on a third date where his whole family just happened to show up at the restaurant. It was super awkward, don't get me wrong, and I felt totally put on the spot. But idk, watching him get ribbed by his little sister and how he talked to his mom actually told me more about him than our other chats. Maybe it's just me, but I think how someone acts under that kind of pressure is more honest than a perfectly planned solo date.

Rant: My date brought his mom along, but I'm seeing a trend towards more independent setups.

Honestly, it was super awkward when she ordered for him. Tbh, lately I've noticed more people planning solo dates, which feels like progress.

Appreciation post: A missing wallet on a dinner date taught me to prep my purse

I now do a quick check before leaving to avoid that panicked search under the table.