c/date-night-disasters

Hot take: Dating apps killed the art of the awkward first date story

Back in 2008, I went on a blind date my friend set up. Guy showed up 40 minutes late, had spinach in his teeth, and spent the whole dinner talking about his pet iguana. It was a disaster but it made a hilarious story. Now with apps, you screen people so hard before meeting that the bad dates are boring. Like when’s the last time someone told you about a truly cringey date that wasn’t just a guy being weird over text? Has anyone else noticed the quality of disaster stories going downhill?

2 comments

the_sam•2d ago

The $7 coffee shop trick that saved my second date

After I bombed a first date by taking her to a loud bar where we couldn't hear each other, I tried a quiet coffee shop with a shared pastry and we ended up talking for 3 hours straight, has anyone else found a simple setting change that completely fixes the awkwardness?

2 comments

mila_perry13•2d ago

Blind date guy tried to impress me by ordering in French and the waiter replied in English

We were at this Italian place downtown and he kept mispronouncing the menu items so badly the waiter just switched to English to help. I sipped my water and didn't say a word the whole time, has anyone else sat through someone's fake accent act?

2 comments

the_pat•4d ago

Just realized I used to plan every single date like a military operation with 3 backup plans

Back in my early 20s I'd map out restaurants, parking spots, conversation topics, even exit strategies if things went south. Had a spreadsheet and everything lol. Then last year I took this girl to a taco joint in Austin that I'd never been to before, no reservation, no plan B. We ended up waiting 45 minutes for a table and just talked the whole time. Best date I'd ever been on. Ever since then I just pick a general area and go with it. Has anyone else ditched the overplanning thing and had it work out better?

2 comments

hart.cora•4d ago

The dinner where the waiter knew I was getting dumped before I did

Was at this Italian place in Austin last month, the one with the red checkered tablecloths. She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and then went quiet for 10 minutes. The waiter brought dessert menus and she waved him off without looking at me. I asked her what was up and she said 'I think we're in different chapters.' The whole restaurant seemed to stop. I paid the $78 tab and walked her to her car. She didn't even say sorry. I just stood there on the curb watching her drive away. Has anyone else had a date where the person you're with clearly checked out before you even got the check?

3 comments

wrenh65•7d ago

Had to choose between burgers or sushi for a first date... I picked wrong.

So I met this girl, Sarah, from a dating app and we were trying to pick a spot in Austin. She said she loved sushi but I suggested this burger joint on 6th Street instead 'cause I'm a picky eater - big mistake. She spent the whole meal looking at her phone and barely touched her fries while I awkwardly choked down a dry patty. Has anyone else totally bungled the first date restaurant choice and regretted it instantly?

2 comments

drew690•9d ago

Used to swear by dinner and a movie for first dates. Now I think thats the worst plan ever.

My last date was a classic movie and pasta place in Austin. She told me afterwards she felt like we barely talked for 3 hours because the whole time was just watching a screen and eating. That got me thinking, I switched to coffee shop walks instead where you actually chat for 45 minutes straight. Has anyone else dumped the standard dinner movie thing for something simpler?

2 comments

johnflores•9d ago

Took my date to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the $45 steak well done

I was at The Grotto in Austin last Friday, a place I saved up for weeks. She asked the waiter for ketchup and drowned the whole thing in it. The chef actually came out to ask if something was wrong with the meat. Has anyone else had a date ruin a meal in front of you?

2 comments

betty_palmer•13d ago

I finally figured out the "two drink rule" for first dates

My problem was I'd get super nervous and ramble, or worse, drink too much to calm down. So I tried this trick: order one drink (like a craft beer) and also a water, then sip the beer really slow while chugging the water between nervous pauses. It worked perfectly on a date at The Rusty Nail in Austin last Friday, kept me calm without turning into a mess. Has anyone else found a solid "date drink strategy" that works for them?

2 comments

wadecooper•14d ago

Learned the "three drink limit" rule after a disastrous date at a Thai place in Portland

So I was on this date about 2 years ago, met this girl from a dating app at a Thai restaurant on Hawthorne. I was nervous, kept ordering Singha beers to calm down. By the time the food came I was on my fifth one. I started rambling about my cat's digestive issues, then tried to kiss her goodbye and missed her face entirely. She texted later saying I seemed too drunk to drive home (she was right). After that I made a rule for myself: no more than three drinks on any first date, and one of those has to be water. Has anyone else had to set hard limits like that for yourself?

2 comments

nancy524•15d ago

Finally got through a full dinner date without my phone dying...

Had a date last Saturday at this Italian place downtown and my phone battery decided to cooperate for once after 5 straight months of dying mid-conversation. Anyone else's phone seem to know exactly when to crap out on a date?

2 comments

wyattrobinson•15d ago

Heads up if you're planning a date at that new axe-throwing bar downtown

I went there last Friday and watched three different couples nearly hit each other because the staff didn't check anyone's form before letting them throw, so maybe skip it unless you want your date to end in the ER.

2 comments

wrenh65•16d ago

Diner date vs fancy steakhouse - the $8 breakfast special won out hard

Met this girl from Hinge at a steakhouse downtown. $60 for my ribeye and she ordered the salmon. Conversation was stiff, waiter kept refilling water every 2 minutes, felt like a job interview. Next week I asked her to Denny's at 10pm for a Grand Slam. $8.49. We sat in a booth for 3 hours talking about her cat's weird habits and my old truck. No pressure, no dress code. She laughed at the waitress calling me 'hon'. Now we're 6 months in and still hit up the greasy spoon on Sundays. Anyone else ditch the expensive spots for cheap breakfast joints?

3 comments

josephl67•16d ago

I finally remembered why I stopped using dating apps after a 3 hour coffee disaster

So I matched with this girl on Hinge who seemed normal enough, we set up coffee at a local spot in Austin. She showed up 20 minutes late, no apology, then spent the first hour complaining about her ex's new girlfriend's Instagram posts. I was trying to be polite but after she asked the barista for a refund because her latte was 'too foamy', I knew it was over. The wildest part was she pulled out a before and after photo of her haircut from 2018 to explain why she 'looks different now'. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and just walked out the side door. Has anyone else bailed mid date like that or am I a jerk?

3 comments

zarab24•17d ago

Hit 30 first dates in one year and that's when I knew something was off

I hit 30 first dates in 12 months and it finally clicked that I was the common problem. Every single one ended in some weird disaster from a guy who brought his mom along to another who spent 45 minutes arguing about pineapple on pizza. I kept thinking it was bad luck or bad apps but after number 30 I had to look in the mirror. Turns out I was picking people based on their profile pics and ignoring huge red flags in the first five minutes. My friend made me write down what went wrong on each one and patterns jumped out like all of them had some kind of avoidance thing going on. Now I only go on dates where we talk on the phone first for at least 10 minutes which cuts the crazies down a lot. Has anyone else kept a count and realized they needed to change their own approach?

3 comments

abby_black•17d ago

Took me 45 minutes to find the fuse box on a blind date's car

So I'm on this date and her car won't start, I offer to jump it but I can't find the fuse box anywhere. Turns out it's hidden behind a panel in the glove compartment, looked it up on my phone after 45 minutes of shame. Has anyone else had a car that hides basic stuff like that?

3 comments

wyattrobinson•18d ago

Overheard my date's friend call her about a bet she made with her roommate

So I'm in the bathroom at this restaurant in Austin two weeks ago, and I hear my date's voice talking to someone. She didn't know I was in the stall. She told her friend she bet her roommate $50 she could get me to pay for everything before dessert. I stayed quiet, finished up, and when I got back to the table I told her I forgot my wallet. Her face dropped. Has anyone else ever caught something like this before dinner even ended?

2 comments

the_sam•18d ago

Blew $150 on a fancy prix fixe dinner and the waiter spilled red wine all over my white shirt within 5 minutes

I spent my whole date budget on that one meal and ended up sitting in a puddle of cabernet while my date tried to pretend the stain on my chest was a fashion choice, has anyone else had a restaurant disaster that just killed the whole vibe?

2 comments

drew965•19d ago

Why does nobody talk about the 'favorite movie' trap on first dates?

I went on a date last month at a coffee shop in Portland and this guy asked me my favorite movie. I said Goodfellas and he spent 20 minutes trying to prove I was wrong for liking it lol. He went scene by scene telling me why Scorsese is overrated and I just sat there sipping my cold latte. Has anyone else had someone pick apart your taste like that on a first date?

2 comments

uma685•19d ago

Overheard a woman in the coffee shop line say she always pays for the first date to test how the guy reacts

She said if he gets weird about it or insists on splitting, she knows he's got a fragile ego. If he graciously accepts or offers to grab the next one, that's a green light. Made me wonder how often little stuff like who pays actually filters out the wrong people early on?

2 comments

tarag28•19d ago

That one critique about my texting style actually helped

Went on a date with a girl from Bumble last month and she told me I came off as boring because I only used 'lol' and 'haha' in texts. She straight up said it felt like I was putting zero effort into conversations. So I started actually reading what people type and giving real responses instead of just laughing at everything. Now I ask follow up questions and throw in some personality. Has anyone else had someone call them out on something small like that and it actually made your dating life better?

2 comments

sageross•21d ago

The $0 date idea that backfired at a park in Denver

Last month I thought I was being clever by suggesting a free picnic at City Park for a first date. Brought sandwiches from home and everything. Turns out she was allergic to bees and a whole swarm showed up near our blanket. She spent 30 minutes swatting and panicking while I tried to talk about pest control as a joke. It didn't land. Has anyone else had a simple outdoor idea turn into a total nightmare?

2 comments

hannahw30•22d ago

I finally stopped trying to impress guys with fancy date ideas

So I used to plan these elaborate dates for first meetings like rooftop bars in Austin or painting classes. Always trying to show them I was fun and interesting. Then after like 5 dates in a row that went nowhere I just stopped. I asked a guy to meet me at a dive bar by my shop for cheap tacos on a Tuesday. We ended up talking for 4 hours about his dog and how my clippers broke mid groom that morning. No pressure no trying to be cool. We've been dating for 8 months now. Has anyone else found that the more casual you keep it the better the date actually goes? Or am I just lucky that time?

2 comments

davis.noah•24d ago

That dinner at The Cheesecake Factory where she ordered for me

So I took this girl to The Cheesecake Factory on 15th Street last Friday. She asked what I wanted and I said surprise me, thinking she'd pick something good. She ordered me the spicy cashew chicken and I can't do spicy at all, like I was crying after two bites. The bill came out to $64 and I was just sitting there sweating and my nose running. Has anyone else had a date pick their food for them and totally blow it?

3 comments

torres.sage•24d ago

Tried the whole 'let them pick the place' approach vs planning it myself. Total disaster.

I let this girl from Bumble choose the restaurant for our first date last Friday in Austin. She picked some overpriced fusion place downtown where the lighting was so dim I could barely see her face. My go-to is a solid Mexican spot on East 6th where I know the menu and the margaritas are $8. Never letting someone else pick again. Anyone else had better luck taking control of the date plans?

3 comments