Hit 30 first dates in one year and that's when I knew something was off

I hit 30 first dates in 12 months and it finally clicked that I was the common problem. Every single one ended in some weird disaster from a guy who brought his mom along to another who spent 45 minutes arguing about pineapple on pizza. I kept thinking it was bad luck or bad apps but after number 30 I had to look in the mirror. Turns out I was picking people based on their profile pics and ignoring huge red flags in the first five minutes. My friend made me write down what went wrong on each one and patterns jumped out like all of them had some kind of avoidance thing going on. Now I only go on dates where we talk on the phone first for at least 10 minutes which cuts the crazies down a lot. Has anyone else kept a count and realized they needed to change their own approach?

3 comments

3 Comments

paige4278d ago

The phone call trick is a game changer I swear. I started doing something similar after my own string of 22 first dates where I realized I was just saying yes to anyone with a decent haircut lol. Writing down the patterns is brutal but it works because you can't argue with your own handwriting telling you that every single guy you picked had the same avoidant red flag. Honestly swapping the first date for a quick voice call filters out the people who can't hold a conversation or who are just looking for a photo op. Stick with it, the quality of matches goes way up once you stop picking based on a 3 second swipe.

hugo8257d ago

Wait, did you actually write down every single pattern on paper or just a mental list? Because I've thought about doing that but keep convincing myself I don't need to see it written out in front of me.

piper9128d ago

Bought into the whole "just go on more dates" thing before too but this actually makes way more sense.