Overheard my neighbor telling her kid 'we can't afford that' and it hit me hard

I was in my backyard last Tuesday watering some sad-looking tomato plants when I caught my neighbor through the fence telling her 8-year-old son 'we can't afford that' about some toy he wanted. It wasn't what she said, it was how she said it. She sounded almost relieved, like it was easier to blame money than explain why she didn't want to buy it. Made me think about how often I do the same thing with my own kids, using the budget as a shield for uncomfortable decisions. Like last month when I told my daughter the art class was too expensive, but really I just didn't want to drive 20 minutes each way after work. Is it kinder to be honest about the real reason, even if it stings a bit?

3 comments

3 Comments

ben2062mo ago

I used to think honesty was always better but this actually made me rethink that whole thing.

evan_campbell1mo ago

Reminds me of this time my buddy told his kid the truth about Santa way too early. Thought he was being all principled and whatnot. Kid cried for three days straight and then started fact-checking everything his dad said at the dinner table. Now he's got a six-year-old running a full background check on where milk actually comes from. Sometimes keeping a little bit of the story in place just makes things run smoother, you know? Honest but not brutally so has been my approach ever since, your mileage may vary of course.

black.joel2mo ago

Oh man, that's way too much self-reflection for a Tuesday afternoon while watering sad tomatoes. Pretty sure "I'm tired and don't want to" is a perfectly valid parenting reason too.