One comment about my old blog post made me rewrite my whole comment policy

Last week someone called me out on a thread I wrote 3 years back. They said my "respectful disagreement" rule basically shut down any real debate because I'd delete anything that felt too harsh. At first I got defensive, I mean I thought I was being fair. But then I looked at the comments I actually removed, and yeah, they had a point. Most of what I deleted was critical but not abusive, just direct. So I changed the policy to only flag personal attacks and outright lies, not just stuff that made me uncomfortable. Now my threads are way more active and I'm getting called out in ways that actually help me catch my own blind spots. Has anyone else had to adjust their moderation style after getting feedback like that?

2 comments

2 Comments

hugo_bennett25d ago

Yeah, that hits close to home (in a good way).

the_patricia24d ago

For me, the real shift happened when I stopped forcing it. I used to plan this big, perfect evening out and it always fell flat. Then one random Tuesday, we just grabbed coffee and walked around a park, no plan at all. That was the first time it actually felt easy, like we were just two people hanging out. We still laugh about that day, and it’s way better than any fancy date we ever tried.