the_xena•15d agoOG Member

My uncle's toast hit 47 minutes at our Easter lunch

He started with a prayer, then went into a full history of our family's garden, complete with a breakdown of every vegetable grown since 1998. The real kicker was when he pulled out a chart showing the exact number of green beans harvested last year. Has anyone else had a family speech go completely off the rails like that?

3 comments

3 Comments

vera_murphy7d ago

Passing it around would ruin the whole show. The whole point is to hold it just high enough that people squint, making them feel like they're missing out on some key bean data. It's a control thing, makes him the only source of truth in the room. Honestly, after forty minutes, that chart was probably the most interesting part.

oscarb7715d ago

Did he at least pass the chart around? Or just hold it up like a prophet with a stone tablet?

the_harper15d ago

LMAO he just stood there like it was the holy grail. Zero chance anyone in the back could see a thing. Classic move to make a simple chart look like a state secret. Total power trip.