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The day I figured out I was killing my own networking chances | Arizona Business Networking - Talk Freely

The day I figured out I was killing my own networking chances

I used to walk into every Phoenix business mixer with a stack of my cards and try to hand them out to everyone I met. Thought that was the whole point, right? Get your name out there. Then about six months ago I was at a chamber event in Mesa and this older guy who runs a landscaping company just sat down next to me and asked what I actually do all day, not what my business card says. I gave him my usual 30 second pitch about flooring and he just nodded and said 'but what's your actual problem you solve for people?' That question hit me like a brick. I had been talking about features and prices for years when nobody cares about any of that until they trust you. Now I just listen more and ask questions first instead of shoving my card at strangers. Has anyone else had that moment where you realized your whole networking strategy was backwards?

3 comments

3 Comments

parker_park85mo ago

Man that landscaping guy nailed it. I had the same wake up call at a Scottsdale tech meetup where I spent twenty minutes describing my service features to some guy who ended up just walking away mid sentence. Then later that night I overheard him saying he hires people based on if they seem interested in his business first. Completely changed how I approach things now. I actually start every conversation asking what they're working on and I barely even bring up what I do unless they ask first. Way less awkward and I actually get real conversations out of it instead of just trading cards like they're baseball cards.

amy1545mo ago

I used to think being aggressive about selling yourself was the only way to get anywhere. Like you had to make sure everyone knew exactly what you offered before they forgot you existed. But hearing this story flips that whole idea. I remember one time I talked a guy's ear off about my side gig at a barbecue, and he never even asked me a single question about it later. That hurt. Now I see it's way smarter to just listen first and let them ask if they're actually interested.

norag663mo ago

Hold on, I'm going to push back here a little. I actually think handing out cards fast is the whole point at big mixers because you only get a few seconds before people move on to the next person. I've been at crowded events in Chandler where if you don't jump in with your pitch right away, someone else will and that person walks away with a lead you needed. Asking a bunch of questions first can backfire too - I did that once and the guy thought I was just being nosy about his business secrets, not actually interested. Sometimes pushing your card gets you remembered simply because you were bold enough to do it when nobody else was.