sam17•14d ago

Question about my old approach to setting boundaries with family

I used to think saying 'yes' to every family favor was the only way to avoid drama (like my mom begging me to drive 45 minutes to fix her printer last month). But after my older brother flat out told me 'you're just enabling her to never learn' during a phone call, I started saying 'no' to small stuff first. Has anyone else had a relative call them out like that and actually had it change how you handle things?

3 comments

3 Comments

mary77614d ago

Oh man, your brother was right and that's a hard pill to swallow. I had a similar wake up call when my cousin told me I was treating her like a child by always bailing her out. It stung at first but then I realized she was right. You really do teach people how to treat you by what you allow. Saying no to the small stuff is smart because you build up the muscle for the bigger things. My mom used to guilt trip me hard but now she just calls my brother instead.

terry_lewis2114d ago

Your mom switching over to your brother is proof it works. I went through the same thing with my sister where she kept asking me for money until I finally said no three times in a row. Now she asks our older brother instead. How long did it take for your mom to finally give up and stop calling you first?

the_piper12d ago

My friend Susan said no to her dad twice and he finally stopped asking her for rides.