A critique partner told me my first page had no hook and I spent 6 months fixing it

Back in 2019, I submitted my opening chapter to a local writing group in Portland. The organizer said flat out, "Your first page reads like a shopping list, not a story." I was mad for a week until I reread it and realized she was right. I ended up cutting the first 3 paragraphs completely and starting right in the middle of the action. Has anyone else had a critique that forced you to scrap your favorite opening?

2 comments

2 Comments

jessicac2817d agoTop Commenter

I read your first page like a shopping list, not a story" really hit home for me. I used to think that starting slow was fine, that readers would be patient if the writing was pretty enough. But after getting similar feedback on my own manuscript, I went back and looked at my first page and realized I had four paragraphs of describing the weather and what my character ate for breakfast. Totally killed the momentum. I ended up cutting all of that and starting with my main character already in trouble, running down a street with the cops after her. It felt wrong at first but the whole chapter flowed way better after that. So yeah, I get it. Sometimes you gotta kill your darlings, even if they're your opening lines.

patricia_green2116d ago

Cops after her on page one? That’s bold. Did it feel terrifying to cut the weather stuff?