That "drunk uncle at a wedding" line got me laughing because my buddy Pete did the exact same thing with his old standing press last spring. He had a book block way too thick and cranked it down until the whole thing just walked itself off the edge of his workbench. Now he's got two bolts through the feet and a story he tells at every bindery meetup.

I bought a bag of those dollar tree bean and cheese burritos back when I was too proud to admit my checking account was sitting at $3.47, and I told myself it was just a survival thing. Then I caught myself microwaving one at 11pm on a Tuesday when I actually had money in the bank, so yeah, the joke is on me. Something about that mushy bean paste and the way the tortilla gets all chewy hits a spot that the fancy ones can't. The gas station ones near me are oily and sad by comparison. I slept on them for years too, so you're not alone in this.