Stopped thanking people for holding the door after a trip to Chicago

I used to always say thanks when someone held a door for me. But last month I was in Chicago at a busy train station and this guy held the door for like 20 people. He wasn't doing it to be polite, he was just stuck in the flow. Nobody said a word to him. It made me think, maybe the social norm of thanking everyone for basic courtesy is just noise. Now I only thank people if they go out of their way, like holding it from a distance. Has anyone else dropped a common nicety after seeing it done differently somewhere?

3 comments

3 Comments

danielb431mo ago

Hold on, twenty people? Like actually twenty people in a row? That's wild to picture, some guy just stuck there like a human doorstop for that long. I guess in a busy station people are just trying to get where they're going and nobody wants to make eye contact. Still feels a little cold to me, but I get why you'd start thinking twice about the whole automatic "thanks" thing. Maybe the real waste is all the words we say without even thinking about them.

bens811mo ago

Man it's weird how one city can reset your whole social autopilot. I noticed the same thing in New York - people just do the door hold without eye contact or a word. Now I'm back home and I only say thanks if there's a real effort involved, like running to catch it. Feels more genuine that way, cuts out the robotic exchange.

campbell.tara14d ago

That's a good way to put it, cutting out the robotic exchange. I've noticed the same thing in my own city, except people here will actually get annoyed if you don't say thanks. So you'd end up stuck in an awkward standoff if you tried the quiet hold.